Marathon ranting

I had a marathon moan a few weeks ago, and now I'm going to tell you about my marathon rant!

Yesterday I had the chance to bore the pants off my classmates about my marathon training. It was (for me) brilliant.

As part of the HNC course, we do a unit called Personal Development Planning. We each select five goals (academic, professional, or personal) and track our progress towards them. Theoretically it's a helpful skill to aquire, but it's impossible to make people achieve goals if they're not motivated towards them - which frankly is the main problem with the course. "You WILL achieve your goals, or else!" - it's not the best approach.

So anyway, part of the course was treating our classmates to a five minute presentation on the progress so far we'd made towards one of our goals. Looking at my goals and realising that there'd been a distinct lack of progress on four of them, I sighed deeply and opened PowerPoint to write about my marathon training.

My goal is to run this year's Edinburgh Marathon in a personal best of less than 4 hours.  Cue a SWOT analysis of the goal, photos of last year's race and details of my training programme.

The truth is that once I got going, I really enjoyed telling everyone how I was getting on. Perhaps all I really wanted was the chance to share how my training was going - I don't really have anyone to bore with the facts of my training, and these guys had to listen - or at least, they had to not fall asleep. I finished off by giving them a jelly baby each - after all their are the secret of my training success. Why was I surprised to get the bag back afterwards to find all the black and red ones gone?

(red and black ones still shown)

It also gave me the chance to look at my statistics and realise that I'm making progress.

• My average speed for my easy runs has increased by 36 seconds per mile
• my average speed for my long runs has increased by 18 seconds per mile, and 
• my 20 mile run time predicts a marathon finishing time 3 hours and 55 minutes.

Marathon moaning

Today begins week 8 of my 16 week marathon training programme. My marathon training takes up the single biggest part of my brain at the moment. At the moment I have to confess that I'm getting a bit fed up of it.

When I finish my Monday run, I start thinking about my Wednesday speed training session (tempo run, hill run, mile repeats or Yasso 800s) - how fast will I go? will I manage it? how much will it hurt? Then, even when I'm stretching after Thursday's recovery run, I'm already thinking about my Saturday long run - what other workouts will I have the energy for before it? what will I eat on Friday? what will I wear, what fuel will I take? what's my route going to be?

And when I'm recovering, I'm thinking about what I'm eating (and wishing I wanted to eat things that aren't just chocolate), procrastinating about stretching, and contemplating which part of me is aching most at that moment in time - usually a choice between my hip flexor, my anterior deltoid, and my foot. Although right now my throat's pretty sore too.

Everything I do, I see it in relation to my marathon training. Does my college class in Current Exercise Trends work my legs too soon before my long run? If I work on Tuesday night, will I be able to run on Wednesday? Should I visit family the day after the tune-up half marathon race, or the day of teh 20 mile training run? It feels like I'm programming my life round my training programme. 

Last year, my marathon training only lasted for 8 weeks - this year it's 16. So I've never had to work my body for this long before. I need to find new resolve - mental strength is required, because this is something I've never been through before.

I'm not considering quitting, I still want to run this marathon (Edinburgh on May 26th) and I want to finish in under 4 hours. But unless I continue to remember that really, really want it, my body's probably going to quit on my brain's behalf.

The hideous weather isn't helping. It's the middle of March and there's been snow every day for the last week. I ran in a full-on blizzard a fortnight ago. Yesterday's 18 miles had to be run on the relatively tedious cycle paths and when I was done, I didn't feel joyous, I really  just felt relieved.

Right, that's enough moaning. The more I talk up the down, the lower I'll get! Sunday is recovery day and it's all right to feel tired today.
Tomorrow I'll be back on the pavement.
Tomorrow I'll feel better about myself again.
Tomorrow I'll try again to stop eating sweeties and chocolate like Augustus Gloop.
Tomorrow is the first day of the school holidays so hopefully I'll have a fortnight of better rest, more foam rolling and a general bit of R&R.

If you've got any tips to help me find the mental strength to get through this wobble, please share them with me!

Failure isn't an option

I'm feeling challenged.

As part of my HND I'm studying for a CYQ certificate in instructing gym-based exercise. A big part of it is showing people how to safely and effectively use gym equipment - essentially teaching. And it's my worst class.

So far in the rest of my course - anatomy, nutrition, first aid, health screening - is going fine. Passing assessments and handing in assignments is good for me, I've had a couple of corrections to make but I'm passing.  But this class - sheesh. It's been a loooong time since I've felt this inadequate.

What adds to my insecurity is that a lot of the others on the course are really well-versed in teaching gym equipment. Some have teaching qualifications already, or have worked in a gym, or studied the same things in previous courses. But me - I'm used to working out at home. Most of what I've learned I've learned from DVDs, none of it with big weights or barbells or gym machines, and although I'm quite confident in my technique, I've never had it scrutinised.

And in class, we're having to demonstrate to each other - which is even more nerve-wracking, because I'm having to pretend to teach a deadlift to somebody who's done more deadlifts than I've ever done, who's taught deadlifts, who probably eats deadlifts for dinner and then dreams about them. There's nothing like knowing somebody knows more than you do to wobble your confidence!

And I'm not used to practical assessments. I like books and essays, writing things down and having people read them. I don't like having to be judged on what I say out loud! I've been teaching dance regularly for eight years now, and it's only recently that I've felt really confident in what I'm doing. Will it seriously take me that long to feel happy teaching in the gym?!

Another compounding factor is that the class takes place on a Friday, so even though I'm motivated by my own inadequacies during and after the class, I have managed quite successfully to go home afterwards and forget all about it!

I hate being bad at things. I hate walking out of that class knowing I was in the bottom 20%. I hate the insecurity of thinking that I might fail. I hate feeling inadequate.

So it just can't be an option. I've got to pass this unit. I've got to be bloody awesome in the gym. Failure isn't an option. Adequacy isn't either. I have got to NAIL THIS THING!

Forget everybody else in the class and don't think about how much they know. I have got to focus on what I do. Being that best me that me can be, as Cookie Monster says. I know what's required in teaching - being confident, knowledgeable, having stock phrases to rely on so you don't always have to think about what you're explaining. Being comfortable and focusing on your student. I can do this!!

My assessment is in FOUR WEEKS, when I'll be assessed on my ability to teach 8 exercises - although there are like, 35 to chose from? If I can perfect a few every week - using books, YouTube and some practical gym experience to work from - I'll have plenty to get me through.

Life often feels better with a plan. Hope I can action this one - time management's going to be the struggle, with a couple of deadlines every week for the next few weeks. But since there's no way I'm going to flunk this class, I'd better get the hell on with it.

Dear Trevor and Angie...

I got through my first marathon experience with a whole lot of help from Marathon Training Academy. It's a US-based running institution run by a couple called Angie and Trevor. They record podcasts full of running information and helpful chat. The podcasts have informed me, made me laugh and kept me company throughout my marathon experience. Pretty much from the first time I listened in (after I'd decided to run a marathon) I was mentally writing to them to thank them for their support. So today, about 10 weeks after downloading my first MTA podcast, I'm finally writing that email.

"Dear Angie and Trevor,

I feel like I've known you both a lot longer than only 10 weeks! That was how long ago I downloaded my first MTA podcast and began my marathon journey. I'm writing now to thank you for your support and to tell you that I really probably couldn't have done it without you.

I live in Edinburgh, Scotland, UK. The Edinburgh Marathon runs right past my street. It's flat and fast. You should definately come some time and see how we do marathons in the UK. From what you've said, we do them a bit smaller than you - what's an expo?!!

Angie, you talk a lot about building a solid running base. I spent quite a while working on that - I went from couch to marathon in 15 years! I never thought I'd run a marathon. Even when, after 2 kids, I ran my first half marathon; and even in 2011 when I ran 7 half marathons, I never thought I wanted to tackle the full 26.2. But I was casually browsing through a local property magazine, and spotted a lottery style competition to win a free place in the 2012 Edinburgh Marathon, I entered, and won! (I guess most other people reading the magazine were a bit busy buying and selling property to run marathons!)

This was with just 8 weeks to go till race day. This was what worried me - my regular running week totalled 25 miles, would that be enough to enter a training programme with just 8 weeks to go? Both of my marathon-running friends were ambigous about it - much sucking of teeth, and ooh, well, maybe if you don't get injured... So I decided to try out the training programme and see how it went. As I hadn't paid for my entry, I wouldn't have lost anything if, after a few weeks, I pulled out and ran the half marathon instead.

Although I'd run so many halves before, I'd never followed a training programme, just routinely came in at about 1 hour 50 minutes. This training discipline was going to be a challenge, and for the first few weeks, I literally thought about nothing else. I could hardly sleep. I had so many questions! What's The Wall? What about fuelling? What on earth is Tempo? I am so grateful to have found your podcast. You gave me the information I needed, in a friendly and helpful way, and you never once made me feel less than invincible. And I could listen to you while I ran too. Perfect!

Well, the deadline for half marathon entries came and went, and I was still on for the full Kraken-unleashing 26.2. The training was amazing. I was so excited at the prospect of 16 miles; then 18; then, 20 miles and the most awesome post-run breakfast ever!! And as a happy by-product of my training, my kids can now get their own breakfast without me. Result!!

The week leading up to race day was hot - much hotter than anything I'd run in before. That week was the first time this year I've been running without a jacket! Although it was probably cool compared with some of the temperatures you and other listeners have endured. I stressed about  the temperature all week - I didn't worry about anything else, though, because I knew I was prepared and I'd done as much as I could. I hadn't missed a single training run or cross-training day.

Race day was hot. But the 26.2 miles came and went. I kept fuelled and hydrated. I dug deep. I listened to your podcast on marathon success stories, where someone helpfully pointed out that if Oprah and George W Bush could do it, then so could I. And I did, in 4 hours 19 minutes. I finished strong, crossing the finish line doing an 8.21min/mile and a celebratory "YES!!" and leap in the air. It was the most amazing feeling.

The pain in my legs for the next 4 days was extrordinary - I wasn't prepared for that! And Angie, you keep quiet about toenails, don't you?! My technicolour toenails are the least pleasant part of the whole experience! My final race injury was funnier though - the next day, wearing flip flops to let my poor toes recover,  I dropped my race medal on my foot and was bruised for a week!

I can't wait to do another marathon. At the moment I'm not signed up for any other races, and I'm feeling crabbit (that's a Scottish word for grumpy!), twitchy and bereft.

Thank you both so much for everything that you do. You're right, I DO have what it takes to run a marathon and change my life. Thank you for believing in me, thank you for telling me everything I needed to know, and thank you for helping me finish strong and leap across that finish line. "You guys are awesome!"

Elspeth xxx"

My First Marathon - edited highlights

I finish my first marathon in 4 hours, 19 minutes. I am extremely proud of myself. The stats are here!

It was hot but after a while I didn't really notice too much. It was hard for a whole number of reasons and the heat was just one of them!

I did a little dance at the start line and continued it at the finish line. I finished strong (doing 8.21min/mile!) and ran the whole way, even through the water stations.

The route was flat, pretty and included my home turf, which was brilliant - high fives with friends and shout-outs from my neighbours really made me feel on top of the world!
I had a few niggles but most of them came and went - hips, lower back and IT band aches were all overtaken by the pain in my thighs after about 16 miles.

My podcasts were great diversions, especially as, despite the beauty of the East Lothian coast in the sunshine, it is fairly repetitive view!!


I carried my water bottle and refilled it at the water stations, and consumed 7 energy gels.

My mum and her boyfriend Robert were there to cheer me on at about mile 13. That was lovely and lifted my spirits - in fact it made me quite emotional and I was choking back the tears!

I was so excited to see the big orange 25-mile sign and find myself still going strong. I knew that whatever happened I was going to finish the race now. And then I saw my husband and children!! What a thrill - they weren't sure they were going to make it! They gave me a big wave and took my picture - but now I was sprinting with joy! I still had about three-quarters of a mile to go though!!

3/4 mile from the end, grinning like a nutter and FINISHING STRONG!! (Note the non-chafeing bumbag.)

When I saw the finish line it gave it everything I had left, overtook everyone I saw and crossed the finish line with a massive shout of "YES!!", loud enough for race compere Bryan Burnett to comment on! The time on the gantry was 4 hours 36 minutes - the time on my watch was 4 hours 19 minutes!!

I was so happy to get my medal, I fixed my eyes on the medal lady and dipped my head to get her to put it round my neck. She gave me a big smile and said "well done, hen", and I was ridiculously, hysterically grateful and happy.

One I was out into the reunion area, I burst into tears. I'd done it! I'd completed my first marathon! After only 8 weeks of training (albeit after 15 years of building a solid running base!) it had taken me 4 hours 19 minutes to run 26.2 miles.  I could not have been any happier.

I did that little dance I'd started at the starting line (Paulo Nutini's 10/10 was the tune - it had been on the PA but I also had it on my ipod!) and tried to find hubby and weans. It took a while but we were reunited!

"Mum, can we go home now? it's too hot..."

I tried to have a shower but they were freezing! So I had a bit of a douse and put on my clean clothes. I realised my toes were hurting. "Well", said a lady in the changing room, who was a veteran of 5 marathons, "you can't do a marathon without expecting to lose a few toenails!", and she showed me the toes she'd lost nails from she'd lost in the last few years! I was unprepared for this - Marathon Training Academy, you should have told me!

Next stop was the Well Hung & Tender stall for a deluxe burger - featuring onions, bacon and cheese, accompanied with a cup of milky tea. It was so unbelievably good, I can hardly begin to tell you - but my face should give you a hint:

Nothing could have tasted better!

We had a long, hot, uphill walk back to the car, and I had to carry a nearly-five-year-old on my shoulders for most of it! It was possibly the hardest part of the day. But it was closely followed by meeting up with the other Leith Primary running parents in the pub. I was cheered when I arrived, and then hugged, congratulated, quizzed and bought drinks!

Eight weeks ago, I wasn't remotely confident I could run a marathon. I registered for the event thinking that I might well change to the half marathon. I knew nothing about fueling, or the wall, or what I was capable of. I feel like a wiser, better person than I was 8 weeks ago. I feel confident, creative and like I can do anything. Anything I put my mind to. I always knew I could, in theory. Now I have proof.

It remains to be seen if I lose toenails. It remains to be seen how much sponsor money I've raised for the Leith Primary playground fund. It remains to be seen whether I'll do it again next year (although I suspect I'd like to!). But I ran my first marathon in 4 hours 19 minutes. I do have what it takes to run a marathon and change my life. And I ROCK!!!

A chance to shine

I am twelve hours away from my college interview and feeling a bit nervous.

I have a 9am interview at Jewel & Esk College for a place on their HNC course in Fitness, Health and Exercise - a one-year full time course which hopefully would lead me to their SVQ Level 3 course, Exercise & Fitness: Personal Training Award. It willbe a group discussion and an individual interview, and I am to take "full indoor kit", which I assume is gym wear!

I am just about over the fact I can't find my certificates to prove that I got O Grades and Highers in the late 1980s; I have looked out my clothes, printed out the details of my referees, checked that I can get parked when I arrive. But I still need to do a bit of work to fix my head!

This is my opportunity to check out the course, the department and the college to see that it's right for me. After all, if it isn't, there are other choices, other course providers, other qualifications. This is as much about *them* being right for *me* as it is about me being right for them.

I want to (as I said in my application) "work in the fitness industry, and it is my ambition to be a personal trainer. I am enthusiastic about fitness, and I find helping others achieve their goals to be rewarding and worthwhile." And tomorrow is one of the early steps along that path. Tomorrow is an opportunity to be seized, not a test to be afraid of!

I suspect this course can take me where I want to be. If it is right for me, things will flow easily. I am good enough for this course, and this course will be better if I am on it. I read this quote by Marianne Williamson in a book by Paul McKenna and I find it inspiring:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' 
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? 
Actually, who are you not to be? 
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. 
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. 
We are all meant to shine, as children do. 
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. 
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. 
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 
As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I'm off to shine now.

Oops I seem to have entered the Edinburgh Marathon.

I got an email on Tuesday to tell me I'd won a place in the Edinburgh Marathon.

To say I *won* it makes it seem like I was awarded it on merit. In fact I entered a draw in the ESPC which I found while I was waiting for me daughter to finish her gymnastics class. So it's nothing to do with my running prowess, and everything to do with the fact that most readers of the ESPC are probably too busy buying or selling property to enter competitions with silly prizes.

And today I redeemed the code I was sent and entered the Edinburgh Marathon on 27 May, just 8 weeks today.

What have I *done*?? My stomach is in my mouth just thinking about it.

I was not sure I wanted to do a Marathon, but when, a few weeks ago, I found out that it was full, I had a bit of a twinge of regret. And that seems to have developed from a twinge to an ache to a proper strain. And here I am, stomach in mouth.

My safety net is as follows: entries for the half marathon - on the same day, which I did last year -  should close on 19 April. So if I start training and it's really looking like I won't be fit enough for the marathon, I can enter the Half, and it won't have cost me any more because I won the Marathon place for free. So I could still back out and thintgs'd still be okay.

But there are a couple of things spurring me on. Firstly, I just called my blog "Anything You Put Your Mind To". So, how can I wimp out when there's a chance, an opportunity, to do this?

And also, I want to show my kids that it's all right to try, even if you're not sure you're going to succeed. A breakdancer came to my son's school assembly on Friday, trying to drum up interest for his dance classes (don't start me on advertising in schools, that's another rant entirely).  The kids all clapped and cheered, and I wondered what my son was thinking. I worried that he might be thinking "I won't try that class because I don't think I'll be able to do it." And then I realised that this was exactly what I was feeling about entering the Marathon.

I'm off to read training programmes now, excited and nervous.

Today's the Day

This was really my first blog post. I wrote it on 9th December 2011. But I didn't have a blog then, so I saved it. It should explain to you why I'm here.

today's the day.

today's the day when you change everything.

Starting this blog required a deep breath and a bit of a leap. putting myself out there and admitting there's something I WANT and I AM GOING TO GET. Not something I'm terribly comfortable with, but I'm finding liberating.

I gave up my job almost 8 years ago, in 2004, to have my family. I'm currently teaching bellydance and being a full time mummy to my two splendid children. When I worked I was a political lobbyist and got a diploma in Public Relations. Now that seems like a whole other world, and one that I really don't miss at all.

But now, my youngest child is starting school in August and the reality of getting myself back in the job market is dawning. The world of politics really doesn't need me back - there have been 2 Scottish Parliament elections since I quit, and I could barely name even a handful of MSPs now, when once I was on first name terms with plenty of them!

I love teaching dance. I enjoy the relationships I have with my students as I watch them grow and improve as dancers. I love health and fitness, and I have a real problem with sitting still - this summer I ran 7 half marathons.

I want to become a personal trainer.

Today was the day I put it out there. Some trainers from a local gym were in attendance at our school Christmas Fair. I asked them about their qualifications and for their recommendations on training to become a personal trainer. They were helpful. Asking for help was, for me, vocalising, and making a positive step towards, something I'd been thinking about for a while now.

There were three trainers. They were helpful and chatty. They were all young men with big bulky biceps and well-toned upper bodies. They reminded me greatly of Geordie Shore. (Let me be clear that I like Geordie Shore.)

But not to put too fine an point on it, if I made an appointment with a personal trainer, and one of them turned up, I'd be intimidated and uneasy. I am not going to make the most of my workout taking direction from someone 15 years my junior with megamuscles. And that made me think, someone like me really should be a personal trainer.

I felt even more sure that wanting this was the RIGHT THING FOR ME TO DO.   

So I'm blogging about it, right from the start. Jillian Michaels made this recommendation to a fan who wanted to become a personal trainer - get a blog, chart your progress, review fitness DVDs. Bore the pants off anyone who'll listen. I've been a diarist since 1986 and I hope I can communicate my journey in a reasonably interesting way!

Thanks for being here at the start of my journey. I want to share what I want, and how I achieve it, as well as the joys, failures, and funny bits of the journey. I hope you get something out of it too!