Kettlebells with PT Luca Meriano

Luca's kettlebells. Don't let the pastel shades fool you, they're not metrosexual.

While I can still type, I'm posting about a kettlebell workshop I went to today. I fear that tomorrow will be too late.

Luca Meriano ran a three-hour beginners kettlebell workshop at The Gym on Waterloo Place in Edinburgh. A new skill for me, a new teacher, and a new venue.

The Gym is a cavernous, white, modern 24 hour gym with plenty of space in the matted area for Luca to teach 9 of us the basics of kettlebells. It was clean, well equipped and (despite being the most central gym location you could imagine in Edinburgh), didn't seem full of posers. Which I liked.

Luca was a great teacher. He broke everything down very clearly. His instructions were really succinct and he took the time to check we were all managing the moves. Everyone got individual feedback throughout the class, one to one. Luca was thoroughly professional and  knowledgeable and I can't think of anything else I would ask for.

Me and the teacher!

Kettlebells will leave me with more bruising than a pole dance class, I suspect. Luca says that this is common to start with, but with practice you develop better control and stop whacking your forearms with the kettlebell!

Luca told me that kettlebell moves use up to 80 muscles. Even a shoulder press-type move uses the whole chain of muscles from your feet to your hands overhead. Two hours on and I'm starting to believe it... I'm not sure I felt this achey after my last marathon!

We had a very thorough warm-up before learning how to swing, clean, snatch and squat. Doesn't actually sound much when you list it like that, but after two hours I was feeling ready to go home. It was the cleans that I really struggled with by the end, because every time I racked the kettlebell, I was thumping it off the outside of my forearm. By the final sequence my left arm was in too much pain for me to finish - not the 'good workout' pain but the 'dropped an iron on my arm' type pain. Still, I'm assured it's just a beginners ailment and it's about timing.

The squats were not the forward-tipping Body Pump variety but real ass-to-the-grass hip-openers. After about 40 of those today, I fear my training run tomorrow will be in jeopardy. It occurs to me now that I didn't know I could do ass-to-the-grass squats until today, and why didn't I know that? Well, because nobody's ever asked me to do them, so I didn't know I could. Which is quite depressing, actually, as a bit of a sign that I don't push myself to try new stuff.

Far from only working the upper body, even when they're overhead kettlebells are really intense on your lower body, as you push from the hips to get the momentum for the moves. Squeezing the glutes protects your lower back from strain so it works your ass like crazy - before you even begin those squats!

The class, still smiling after three gruelling hours!

I used an 8kg (pleasantly pink) or a 10kg (baby blue) kettlebell. Luca has his own stash of them, the size and standard required for competition. They were colourful, but Luca warned us off the smaller (but not lighter) gym's-own kettlebells, describing them as 'metrosexual' (I did LOL).

Luca told me that having good flexibility and mobility in my hips meant that my kettlebell technque was good. Who knew, bellydance and kettlebells are odd, but complementary, bedfellows. Hurray.

I'm plan to use kettlebells again, even if they are the metrosexual kind that Edinburgh Leisure supplies.  Luca suggested 50 squats, 50 snatches and some core work as an all-over general workout in 20 minutes. I need to remember to squeeze my glutes, keep my elbow in and swing the other arm!

Great workshop, great to learn some new skills!

BodyAttack

Ooh, did I just find my favourite gym class ever?!

There's nothing new about BodyAttack, it's just that I've never tried it before. I think it's the 'attack' bit that put me off, but it turns out that BodyCombat is the martial arts class and that BodyAttack isn't. Edinburgh Leisure helpfully describes the class as "A simple, motivating and satisfying workout which will deliver results... using high energy interval training techniques", which doesn't exactly give much away and is probably why I've avoided it for so long.

D'y'know what it was? Aerobics!

When I say aerobics, I think of these key components:

• Start the move. Do it four times. Change the move. Do it four times. Repeat.
• Have music on.
• Do different sets of moves to different  music.
• Use these moves: grapevines, sidesteps, run forward, clap. Jumping jacks, squats, lunges. Kicks, skaters, plyometric jumps. Knee lifts, knee repeats. (plenty of old skool aerobics moves!)
• No weights. 
• Abs track at the end, on a mat.
• Sweat plenty.

What a buzz!

I felt really nicely knackered by the end of it, nothing totally killed me (well, a final set of squat pulses at the end was kinda horrible, but this was my second workout of the day) and I felt like I'd 'done enough', which is a feeling I don't get from many classes.

It helped that the teacher at Meadowbank, Vicky, was really good - no nonsense, great cueing, clear demonstrations; that the class wasn't so busy that I couldn't see; and the music was - well, it was okay, I won't say it was any better than that - more crowd-pleasers would've been good.

I liked it better than Zumba because I didn't feel like an idiot doing daft moves.
I liked it better than Sh'Bam because I didn't feel like a complete idiot doing really daft moves.
I liked it better than BodyPump because I sweated plenty and got to jump about.
I liked it better than BodyCombat because there was more counting to 4 and only really easy technique.

BodyAttack is now my gym class of the moment! What's yours?

Failure isn't an option

I'm feeling challenged.

As part of my HND I'm studying for a CYQ certificate in instructing gym-based exercise. A big part of it is showing people how to safely and effectively use gym equipment - essentially teaching. And it's my worst class.

So far in the rest of my course - anatomy, nutrition, first aid, health screening - is going fine. Passing assessments and handing in assignments is good for me, I've had a couple of corrections to make but I'm passing.  But this class - sheesh. It's been a loooong time since I've felt this inadequate.

What adds to my insecurity is that a lot of the others on the course are really well-versed in teaching gym equipment. Some have teaching qualifications already, or have worked in a gym, or studied the same things in previous courses. But me - I'm used to working out at home. Most of what I've learned I've learned from DVDs, none of it with big weights or barbells or gym machines, and although I'm quite confident in my technique, I've never had it scrutinised.

And in class, we're having to demonstrate to each other - which is even more nerve-wracking, because I'm having to pretend to teach a deadlift to somebody who's done more deadlifts than I've ever done, who's taught deadlifts, who probably eats deadlifts for dinner and then dreams about them. There's nothing like knowing somebody knows more than you do to wobble your confidence!

And I'm not used to practical assessments. I like books and essays, writing things down and having people read them. I don't like having to be judged on what I say out loud! I've been teaching dance regularly for eight years now, and it's only recently that I've felt really confident in what I'm doing. Will it seriously take me that long to feel happy teaching in the gym?!

Another compounding factor is that the class takes place on a Friday, so even though I'm motivated by my own inadequacies during and after the class, I have managed quite successfully to go home afterwards and forget all about it!

I hate being bad at things. I hate walking out of that class knowing I was in the bottom 20%. I hate the insecurity of thinking that I might fail. I hate feeling inadequate.

So it just can't be an option. I've got to pass this unit. I've got to be bloody awesome in the gym. Failure isn't an option. Adequacy isn't either. I have got to NAIL THIS THING!

Forget everybody else in the class and don't think about how much they know. I have got to focus on what I do. Being that best me that me can be, as Cookie Monster says. I know what's required in teaching - being confident, knowledgeable, having stock phrases to rely on so you don't always have to think about what you're explaining. Being comfortable and focusing on your student. I can do this!!

My assessment is in FOUR WEEKS, when I'll be assessed on my ability to teach 8 exercises - although there are like, 35 to chose from? If I can perfect a few every week - using books, YouTube and some practical gym experience to work from - I'll have plenty to get me through.

Life often feels better with a plan. Hope I can action this one - time management's going to be the struggle, with a couple of deadlines every week for the next few weeks. But since there's no way I'm going to flunk this class, I'd better get the hell on with it.

Fashion or Fitness?

Jillian Michaels tweeted an interesting article tonight. It's from the New York Times, about a gym chain called Equinox which is about to open it's first branch in the UK. You can read it here.

The piece focuses on Bianca Kosoy, the Creative Director of Equinox. First off it seemed a bit weird to me that a gym has a Creative Director, but I guess they're always on the lookout for new clients, right? And not everybody loves to workout, so perhaps selling a gym as a lifestyle choice - rather than a life choice - isn't so crazy.

Bianca Kosoy, and some chains (unexplained).

 The article paints Kosoy as a pretty unsavoury character - a drinking, tattooed tough-talking sexual predator, using exploitative sexual imagery to sell a gym. Well, you know, if the journalist doesn't like you, they're not going to flatter you. I'm not going to judge Ms Kosoy when I haven't even met her.

“I never work out,” Ms. Kosoy said. “I think fitness is a fraud. That’s why I try to make it look like fashion.” Let's leave aside for the moment the epic statement "fitness is a fraud" - I'd really like to unpack that, but the journalist seems to have left it out of the article. The Chief Executive of Equinox says "Bianca’s unique vision blurs the traditional lines between fashion and fitness,” which sounds to me like a ringing endorsement of her approach - she's no loose cannon, and is clearly taking the company in the direction it wants to go.

I don't go to a gym. It's been 9 years since I've been a member of a gym, and I can't remember how many people I thought were there to pose, or look at other people posing. I do remember lots of sweating and feeling really rather unattractive as I skulked back to my office desk with sweaty hair. Not much of fashion statement.

If you go to the gym in the same way you buy the latest clothes - not the clothes you love but the clothes you simply have to be seen in, well, you're not doing me any harm, but I'm not sure you're doing yourself much good either. Frankly, I'm don't think I'd like to be going to the same gym as you. I don't think my pants would be up to scratch in the changing room - although I'm sure my performance on the gym floor would.

Fitness is about finding a goal - weight loss, muscle mass, event training, endorphin rush - and pursuing it. It can make you a stronger person, physically and spiritually. It can make you a healthier person, enabling you to live a longer, happier life, giving you more quality years with your children. I don't think fashion achieves these aims.

Maybe this is exactly why the fitness industry needs Creative Directors. To make very clear the dividing lines between the sort of gym you go to as a fashion statement, and the gym where you can pursue your fitness goals.

Me, I'm happier than ever working out in my living room and running on the shore.